I have read some fantastic blogs, and I’ve read some mediocre ones, and as I type this I wonder where upon that spectrum my own blog will fall. The irony is, I don’t actually like blogs. I don’t dislike them, I mean they’re okay, but I don’t like them as a thing in and of themselves. I don’t follow any, I don’t consistently read the thoughts and things of other bloggers out there, and yet I’m here, writing the first entry of my own.
It’s daunting. Will my voice come across cool? Will it reach you? Can you tell I’m rambling and reaching for things to say? I can’t stop typing to edit myself or I’ll choke. <Just be normal Knicks> So I’ll focus instead on what I want to share with you. Happy New Year. Welcome to my new website. If you’re here then you probably already know my name is Knicky and it would be lame to type that, but I’ll leave this sentence here, just in case.
Last night I sat on a beach with my family eating incredible home-made pizza and jello shots and a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. We listened to atmospheric alternative rock from the 90s and talked a ham roll of nonsense. It was magickal, but at no point more so than 12 midnight. Fireworks time. They were directly overhead, sonic booming in my eardrums, eliciting a fight or flight response within my head and heart.
I did not fly, but they did, hammering overhead as I watched and learned from them all I could. That potential and beauty, that rush to ecstasy and end, hovering for a moment of singular finality and then falling into nothing. It was the perfect analogy and it remained with me 48 jello shots later. (Yes there is a possibility that I am hungover as I talk to you. I admit nothing.) It reminded me of the one resolution I thought of making but didn’t.
Setting deadlines. I missed the big one. It is 2015 and the final chapter of Kindler of Flames, though underway, going quite well and almost there, is still incomplete. I really thought about resolving to not set another deadline for it again. Then I thought, would I be this far, on the cusp of completion, had I not set all those deadlines I missed before? So that almost-resolution got tossed in the sun in my brain, and I’m now aiming for an end of vacation finish instead.
Completing my manuscript is exactly like those fireworks. My work has so much potential and beauty, I’ve been rushing ecstatically to the end and right now I’m hovering for a moment of singular finality on the cusp of typing “The End” (and then backspacing because I mean who really ends a book like that). But that’s where I am. I’m at that point where I’m falling towards the finish, and I don’t want to rush or end up with skinned knees or a product that’s incomplete despite being completed because I didn’t take the time to do it right. It’s a lot of pressure to do things right. I welcome it.
I’m behind my personal, gruelling schedule but I have until April latest to finish my work as that is the deadline for publication. It won’t take me four months to finish an almost finished chapter. So with that thought, I take in a deep breath, exhale any personal disappointment, forgive myself and relax just a bit.
I hope to do this three times a week on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. As Nescada is a science fantasy I want the content of this website to reflect that down to its very html. On Fridays I will talk of things both spiritual and arcane, and those entries will be categorized and tagged as Freda’s Cauldron (Don’t worry about it, you will find out who Freda is soon enough). On Saturdays I’ll discuss science and stuff under the category/tag of Saeris’ Laboratory. Entries directly from me to you will be categorized and tagged as From The Author and, with the exception of today, will be posted on Sundays.
Now. How to end my first blog entry. As if starting it wasn’t hard enough. Is there anything left to say? Just one thing I can think of …Thank you for taking the time to read this 🙂